THE DAIRY OF A MAD BRIDE; mIXeD eMoTiOnS!

The course of getting married has taught me a thing or two. There is nothing such as black and white in life. Life and its emotions mostly exist in the grey area. Phases are not as simple as the end of one chapter in a book and the beginning of another.
I wish it was. That way, I could demarcate my feelings, shelf the emotions that I needed to and have a completely clean slate to begin a brand new life afresh.
But it really doesn't happen that way. It’s all a BIG BAG OF MIXED EMOTIONS… the excitement of what is to come does not cease and the tug-at-the-heart of what all is to be left behind does not go away!

Phewww…such is the experience of getting married! :P

A Moment in Time...

Even while life takes its usual course, there is always 'that special moment in time' where a part of you has been left behind…and maybe forever…!
Doesn’t it happen to you….don’t scenes from somewhere in life, flash right before your eyes, right out of just nowhere at all??? And the beauty of it all is, while you won’t know what bought them on, just so randomly, what you would always know is that, you will be left wishing your entire life that, that time then had just stopped, and had let you bask in its glory, forever and ever!

THE DIARY OF A MAD BRIDE; All Heaven Breaks Loose! ;)

Who so ever said getting married was fun, can go take a jump! No, seriously! Ya, ya, it is a very special feeling, very exciting too, you’re on top of the world and allllllllllllllllllllllll that! But… BUT… the extreme overdose of attention, decision making, preparations, tensionnnnn, emotional spills, panic attacksssss (PHEW!!!)......leaves you wondering…… was all THAT in the package too?!!! ;P

Oh BTW…mind you…. NONE of this ( well, for the larger part at least ;P ) is about the “MARRIAGE” as such (discounting of course the occasional butterflies doing gymnastics in the tummy, about the new life that is to come, the old one that will be left behind, the truck loads of obvious transitions etc.etc etc!). Funnily, (and annoyingly enough for the practical mind ;P ) MOST…mind you, MOST of the chaos is got to do with the WEDDING (basically the works- the ceremonies, the jewellery, the clothes, the makeup, the pre-bridals, the guest lists, the shoppinggggggggggggggggg….HAHHHH! As if life will cease to exist after the BIG DAY! ;)

Oh yeah, I know I sound pretty sorted about it all…but that’s exactly what the problem is…I ONLY sound that way! After all, I am the BRIDE-TO-BE and for now, I have the OFFICIAL LICENSE TO LOOSE IT COMPLETELY ;)

When The Mystic Law Cast Its Spell...

My first voluntarily encounter with spirituality happened with the introduction of Buddhist Gohonzon in my life, earlier this year. My little baby Betty had been detected with Spleenic Tumor recently and my determination to leave no stone unturned for her cure made me take up this practice wholeheartedly. My daily Gongyo and Daimoku, lead to the further stability of her condition and managed to restore positive outlook towards life that I had recently began to lack due to immense emotional stress.

However, like it is often said that sometimes ‘seeing is believing’; that is exactly what was slightly amiss in my practice and what was imperative in converting me from a sincere followers to stanch believer of the Gohonzon. And so, one fine day, a few weeks ago, ultimate belief finally dawned upon me.

Like we all commonly believe, that because the almighty can’t always be everywhere, he chooses his special people to carry out his important missions. And this time, the head of my family, my grandfather, became that special messenger of the Gohonzon.

It was about 7:30, one May morning, when I stirred in sleep, wondering why my dreams were getting so increasingly noisy. As I flickered my eyes open, hoping to snap out of the disturbing sounds, that I guessed were coming from an unpleasant nightmare, the haziness of my sleep cleared away with a sudden startle and I instantly had an uneasy realization….No, these voices were real…Very Real . Infact, they were clearly shouts of panic drifting from the direction of my grandparent’s room….Oh My God! Something seemed to be horribly wrong! Was one of them unwell??? Everybody sound just so hysterical….what could it be???

The fear of loss of someone very dear, I learned that day, gives an instant boost to relentless strength. And so, in less than a jiffy I was out of bed, across the house and into my grandparent’s room, staring in horror at my Dad frantically trying to make an almost unconscious Dadu, come around. Dadu’s medical history had his odds against him and so, even in a state of utter perplexity, there was absolutely no doubt in all our minds…it was his heart, yet again. We had to give him first aid, we had to keep him conscious and most importantly we had to get him into the Emergency, and that too within a matter of minutes! Oh My God…No! we just couldn’t let him slip away!

Almost paralyzed with fright, we hurriedly carried Dadu towards the car , with the hope to get him to medical care soon. But, just when we were beginning to think that things were gradually getting under control…BOMB! What happened next almost knocked the life out of our bodies. Amidst all the chaos, Dadu suddenly almost became lifeless. Despite the many puffs of the revival inhaler and the tireless attempts of mouth-to-mouth respiration, there was just no response! For a moment there, for the first time ever, we really though that we had lost the backbone of our family...

Numb with shock and shattered with disbelief, a cry of urgency from within me frantically urged me to not give up. And then, from just about nowhere, my lips suddenly uttered the life-giving words - Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Soon after, my Dad and sister caught on, desperate in hope to win an almost lost battle…and then... it happened! On the 21st of May, at about 7:45am, my entire family witnessed a MIRACLE! Within barely a few seconds of our chanting, Dadu opened his mouth wide and gasped for breath and with his heartbeat then, revived even ours.

This is THE moment in my life when I saluted the Gohonzon with all my heart, mind and soul. It is this magical power that re-blessed our household with life, that fateful day. And today I proudly admit surrendering to this mystic law with all my might!

My Dearest Darling Mischief,

While my soul is here

My heart is with you

Together they will come, when we will come through.

Though the wait seems endless but my hopes reign high

Here you will be soon, this time apart will just fly!

And i dream on...

Tucked in a quaint little cottage, where I can hear the wind whistles blow

With the serenity of love besides me, that can make me eternally glow

So calm, so pure, so magical it all will be

Just like that dreamy fairytale, I had wished to grow up and see...

The Test of Faith!

It’s something like paying the price for being the brightest student in class; you’re expected to answer every single time!

Let's put it this way… maybe I'm one of Almighty’s most favorite, and so putting me to test, yet again,is maybe his way of bettering me and strengthening my belief in him...

And so, I stand here, yet again, with my head held high, my efforts ceaseless, my hopes undefeatable and my belief unwavering. I stand here, with the faith that a MIRACLE, yet again, is on its way!